This was the loneliest time of my life...
For nearly 6 years I cried for, hoped for, and prayed for a baby. I never knew if I would be able to have kids, and that was a hard pill I could not swallow. I actually never believed deep down that I couldn’t have children, though -- I always had hope.
During my journey of infertility and the miscarriages I suffered — these were some of the loneliest times of my life. It’s something that is very hard to talk about when you are going through it, and many times we may not even know that someone is walking this path.
In the midst of my 6 year journey to motherhood, I lost my mom --- mentally. The last time my mom had a moment of clarity was when I told her I was finally pregnant. She started crying and said, “this is what we’ve been praying for for so long!”
The next day she had a grand mal seizure, and from that moment on didn’t know anyone for the remainder 18 months of her life.
While my daughter’s birth was one of the most joyous times of my life, it was bittersweet because my mom had no idea I was having a baby -- something I had wanted for so long, and something she had wanted for me. I missed having her by my side.
My mom died when Avery was just 11 months old. It’s sad to me that my kids will never know my mom on this earth, but I want them to know her through her legacy.
Wherever you are on your health journey, I’m here to tell you that there is hope. No matter what. Do you need hope today?
#infertility #infertilitysucks #helpforconceiving #miscarriage #miscarriagesandloneliness #earlyonsetalzheimers #durangocolorado